HEY KERRY...Don't Turn into Wickman

The start of the new baseball season is a time of hope and a chance to forget all of the demons of the past. The demons of the Cleveland Indians have been those you have been pitching in 9th over the last few years.

Let's think of the last 5 shitty closers that have had the pleasure of wearing the Indians uniform and blowing our chances of having successful seasons
1) Joe Borowski - one good year but how many nail bitters (matt owes me 30 keystones for him sucking last year)
2) Bob Wickman - Fat Bastard that gave up at least one run in the 9th and allowed 2 to reach base.
3) Raffy Betancourt/Raffy Perez/Jensen Lewis/ & the rest of the 2008 Platoon that Wedge put out there - at least we finished the season .500 HAHA
4. John Rocker - Maybe he should have rode the RTA RAPID and could have been inspired to throw harder (V-Chucks Boy)
5. Ken Hill - Maybe if he lifted the hat a little higher and got it out of his line of sight he could have been a little more successful.

I was about to talk about our boy Mesa but I'm pretty sure that we will never get within one out of the winning the World Series again, so no worries there Wood.

So a word of wisdom to my new boy Kerry Wood. DONT EVER come into a game after the reigning CY Young Winner (who is making is way back to the top) gives you 8 scoreless innings and a lead in the 9th. All you have to do is go up there and throw 98 mph fastballs and let your amazing defense take care of the rest. If the defense can turn 6 double plays in one game for Laffey, I'm pretty sure that they can give you a solid 1 inning of defense.

This is your one and only pass for the season. And please don't blow your arm out!